Comparison of Modern Behavior with Etiquette and Good Manners
■ Comparison of Modern Behavior with Etiquette and Good Manners
When we compare the behavior of people today in the light of good manners and etiquette, what do we observe? If someone commits a sin, people will highlight it, humiliate the person, and if they have the power, they will try to remove them from their position or even exile them from the country in disgrace.
● Sohbah:
A changes in behavior come due to the Sohbah, by adopting the behavior of the pious people, the saints. Their practice was that if they found out about someone's sin, they would ask Allah for forgiveness on their behalf and would never shame them in front of others. If listeners, companions, and organization members adopt this behavior, it is a gift for them.
● The Importance of Company:
Hazrat Abu Qasim Ishaq (r) asked Abu Bakr Al-Warraq (r):
"Whose company should I keep?"
He replied: "Keep the company of a person who does a good deed for you and then forgets about it, never reminding you. Conversely, never sit in the company of someone who remembers your faults because remembering your faults means they always want to shame you, which is a sign of extremely low character."
● The Meaning of High Morals - Ikhlaq
High morals mean that if you commit a sin, your friend will never remind you or make you feel that they know about your wrongdoing. They will hide your sin so well that you won't even realize it.
In history, Hazrat Hatim Al-Asam (r) was known as "Asam," meaning deaf. He wasn't actually deaf; this title was given to him.
Once, a woman came to him to ask a question, and she passed wind (Fart). Hazrat Hatim acted as if he was hard of hearing and asked her to speak louder. She repeated her question, and he asked again to speak louder. By the third time, the woman thought he was hard of hearing. From then on, he was known as "Asam," but he never mentioned this incident again, maintaining the pretense of being hard of hearing.
Hazrat Yahya bin Muadh (r) said:
A friend is not someone who asks for an apology for your mistake but a true friend is someone who avoids making you feel ashamed.
The message is of etiquette and good manners. If humility and good manners are adopted and practiced, it brings the greatest positive change in a person and is the best gift for a human being.
وَصَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ سُبْحَـٰنَ رَبِّكَ رَبِّ ٱلْعِزَّةِ عَمَّا يَصِفُونَ وَسَلَـٰمٌ عَلَى ٱلْمُرْسَلِينَ وَٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ ٱلْعَـٰلَمِينَ آمين بجاه النبي الكريمﷺ
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